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Why Hollywood, Why?

May 3, 2005

InsidenarniapolarSo, this is a picture of the White Witch from the forthcoming The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe film being release this December.  And along with the first images and preveiws of the movie that are being released come my own series of disappointments and anticipations about the film.  Here in this picture is disappointment number one:  THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO POLAR BEARS IN THIS BOOK!   What’s wrong with reindeer?  Creativity begs that reindeer be brought to the screen in a way that is  as frightning as their owner, not that the reindeer are turned into polar bears.  Polar bears!  Aaahhhhh.  [I’m still so excited that if I think about it too much I might pee my pants]

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6 comments

  1. Hey, this is not a comment about this entry, but about the blog as a whole since this is the first day I am reading it (and hopefully not the last as long as I don’t lose the URL). I am encouraged to also relieve my inner working thought life through prose as profound as Adria’s examples. I am hammered by an array of feelings ranging from self-confidence and assurance to feelings of inadequacy and regret throughout the day and relate to the need to get it all out, share it with the world, and move on. Kudos to Adria for showing us how! I love ya girl! You are deep, yes, deep.
    I do have my own blog titled daretoshar, but before I give the whole URL I must admit it may be too personal for the entire audience of Adria’s blog, but one day, this Shar will be prepared to dare-to-shar her blog with you guys. A computer first would be nice. . .


  2. You have to read the Special Edition Unrated Extended Producers Version, Adria, where the White Witch feeds the reindeer to the bears. Are you such a casual fan that you haven’t seen this yet? This comes right after she says, “All I wanted was some polar bears with friggin’ laser beams on their heads. Is that too much to ask?”

    And I thought you were a C.S. Lewhead. Turn in your Screwtape button right away.


  3. Seriously, John, you’re comment made me laugh so hard. I clearly should have also read the adult version of my beloved Chronicles. I really didn’t know they existed. Thanks for the info….laser beams, ha! Does that meam these polar bears are somewhat like Fembots?


  4. adria–

    i have a confession to make regarding non-purist hollywood translations of dearly loved classics.

    i am thinking…that film is an entirely different genre that opens books up to new and creative interpretations of the themes of the book. and you have to admit that it makes a lot of sense for there to be polar bears wandering around narnia, and that it makes the movie seem much more intense and exciting than a reindeer, which makes people think of fat bearded men and presents.

    i’m not DEFENDING hollywood, i’m just saying that i’m coming to see films based on books kind of like “oral interpretations of literature” and that if it’s just a pictoral representation of what lewis describes, then is the filmmaker really doing what he or she does best?

    i think about this in reference to the fact that i think harry potter 3 is sooo much better than the first 2 becasue the director actually excercises some creativity in the filmmaking process….

    anyways. i didn’t know i had such a strong opinion on that, but apparently i do! ha!

    i am wondering, however, if this polar bear drinks coca-cola or not.


  5. hmb, the gloves are coming off! (but we’re still friends)

    1. Interesting facts about Polar Bears:

    On land, they can run for short bursts at speeds of up to 35 miles (56.3 kilometers) an hour. I doubt this is enough stamina on land to make it from the witch’s palace all the way to the Stone Table.

    Polar bears hunt seals for food. Lewis never mentions seals in the Chronicles. So if there had been polar bear, they would’ve starved to death for lack of seals.

    2. Interesting facts about Narnia:

    As far as we can know it has four seasons. This means that it would be way too hot for polar bears to stay alive in the summer, baking to death under all that fur. So, when the winter thaw happens, then the bears die. But, since there are no polar bears in Narnia to begin with, that is a moot point.

    We know that in the first half of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, it has been “always winter, and never Christmas” for many years. From what television has taught me, polar bears only come out at Christmas, and only to drink Coca-Cola Classic. And none of that stuff happens in this book.

    *all “factual” information on this comment was provided by World Book Encyclopedia*


  6. i think maybe the bear is just the witch’s pet. like she has it on a leash or something, kind of like jabba the hut had princess leia. so maybe the bear will automatically die as soon as the witch dies. it’s like an SAT problem: paris hilton is to toy chihuahua as white witch is to….

    and if it’s an evil polar bear, it probably doesn’t feed on seals. it probably feeds on children or rodents.



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