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Bigger than Me

May 11, 2005

5.09.05

Sunday night at the Mayan, Erwin talked about creating our future.  For those immersed in Mosaic, this could elicit the response similar to that of, oh, the pastor is talking about money again.  Sometimes it seems like the only thing Erwin ever talks about is creating the future.  But, it is always, always, a fresh message.  More than the speaking, which Ill write notes out about later, was the experience. 

Alice, one of the interns from last summer, met me at the door.  She and Mariah (Erwin and Kims daughter) were at the door to meet Charity and I.  We stepped into the Mayan: a club in downtown L. A. that is decorated and constructed to look like an ancient Mayan temple.  Before I could even sit down though, I ran into Scott and then I ran into Jason.  After finally making it to my seat, I began to watch the big screen up front which showed a video of some dancing ladies from the eighties and Mr. T singing a song about respecting your mamma.  Even during the Mr. T video, before the music, before the dancing, before Erwin; it was as soon as I walked in to that building that I perceived this energy, that Yahweh was in this place, with this holy people.  I was reminded, and to a greater impact than the summer (because Im actually living on mission now) that I am a part of something much bigger and much grander than me.  That I am small but vital, flawed but effective for the good.  And later, I would be reminded that it is in my power to create my future.  This week is big for us at Mosaic.  I know that for those of us serving in Nashville there is a sense of Carpe Diem.  That God is moving and that we need to strap ourselves in and prepare for the ride of our lives.  Much is being demanded of me right now, but God will not take it.  It must be given to him.  All dreams and hopes and desires that have not been fully informed by the Ruach-Elohim must be given over to death.  There are things in me that still must die in order that I might move forward in creating the future.  I think I have finally been able to understand what it means to fear the LORD, wisdom will hopefully not be far behind. 

Earlier last week Josh wrote these words to me in an email.  They speak well of what we are experiencing:

I am greatly looking forward to our time in LA.  We are in such an integral point in our story, a point where forces are aligning for us and against us.  We are at a point in the cosmos where we will be catapulted forward with a speed that seems numbing, or shackled to a halt.  Either way, the future will be changed, forever.  We must keep pressing forward.  We must not forget why we started this journey.  LA represents a turning point for us as leaders.  We will enter Hollywood once again, but this time we are marked with all that we have learned and lived and tested and discovered.  And although the learning and discovering never ends, we will depart Hollywood, not as we departed last summer, sojourners fresh and ready for the new journey, but as guides humbly displaying our red badge of courage, united under a new allegiance, prepared to lead all who will dare to follow as we boldly advance the Kingdom of God.

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